She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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