I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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