why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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