Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize