Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize