so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
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I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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