Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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