By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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