So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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