Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
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I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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