I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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