I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize