I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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