great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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