When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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