she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize