Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis

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(313): I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis http://tfl.nu/f8bv

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(562): View more from California

The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!

(916): View more from California

Awkward!

(562): View more from California

No he was cute and I said yes!

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(562): The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date! (916): Awkward! (562): No he was cute and I said yes! http://tfl.nu/pzog

Replies (14) Good night (2481) Bad night (652)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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(843): he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number http://tfl.nu/katp

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(847): View more from Illinois

HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO

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(847): HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO http://tfl.nu/vpr1

Replies (34) Good night (2937) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident

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(605): I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident http://tfl.nu/4t8c

Replies (28) Good night (612) Bad night (2582) Order T-Shirt
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(325): View more from Texas

my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.

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(325): my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song. http://tfl.nu/4wzc

Replies (11) Good night (1126) Bad night (3389) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?

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(317): So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road? http://tfl.nu/ir52

Replies (23) Good night (9867) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.

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(763): I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts. http://tfl.nu/j2dd

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(514): View more from Quebec

Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.

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(514): Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife. http://tfl.nu/v3gi

Replies (12) Good night (3007) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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(805): View more from California

The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.

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(805): The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery. http://tfl.nu/hbuh

Replies (7) Good night (1176) Bad night (4252)
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(416): View more from Toronto

All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.

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(416): All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out. http://tfl.nu/i1g0

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?

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(920): I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer? http://tfl.nu/t39o

Replies (3) Good night (805) Bad night (1974) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.

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(403): Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon. http://tfl.nu/v8j0

Replies (2) Good night (1980) Bad night (951)
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(516): View more from New York

She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.

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(516): She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location. http://tfl.nu/ak9e

Replies (8) Good night (1113) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?

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(+44): you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home? http://tfl.nu/3r4f

Replies (6) Good night (1144) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt

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