Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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