Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize