Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize