I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize