and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize