How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
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That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize