It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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