Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize