ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize