Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize