I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
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So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This toilet bowl is my home.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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