I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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