Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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