My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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