sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize