Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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