If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
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My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
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Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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