Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize