Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize