Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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