Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize