That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
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thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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