We won't sleep together?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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