I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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porn star boner night. come get it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
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Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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