Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize