Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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