just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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