grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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