i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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