i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize