I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
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they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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