dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize