She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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