and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
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I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We were destined to go to rehab together
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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