Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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